Contradiction, hypocrasy or expediency?

We all have in us the ying & yang. Some have it in equal measure, while others have a dominant component. It forms our conscience, governs our actions, and ultimately, reflects what kind of person we are. But are we to be judged based on what we do, or would it be more justified if we are judged based on our thoughts? There's actually no definite answer to such a conundrum, neither would i want to risk feigning wisdom that i obviously do not possess and try to conjure up something impressive that would seem like a plausible answer.

Pardon me if i'm making assumptions here, but i believe everyone of us has at least two sides which we tend to present to others, just as there are 2 sides to a coin. Yes, at least 2, some people are just so unpredictable that they might scream, yell and what not one minute, and try to be all nicey dicey the next. Under normal circumstances, we would categorized them mercilessly under the 'manipulative', 'unstable' or 'mentally unsound'. This immediate classification does no justice to the subject because it shows a lack of understanding of the nature of the subject itself. I'm sure the following sentence is extremely cliche, but i'll say it nonetheless. Everyone is different. Each individual's behavior has been moulded throughout the years and is a reflection of their family background. Hence, if we do not even attempt to comprehend their differences, we will never know why they are the way they are. In general paper, failure of doing so would be deemed as generalisation, knee-jerk reaction, jumping to conclusions etc. Yet, is it not what we always do?

For example, when i was in lower secondary, and had hormones raging within me for reasons that i could not explain, i was hot tempered, vile and somewhat violent. As a result, i always got into heated arguments with peers, which led to physical altercations on occasions that the person i was up against was gutsy enough to try and kick my butt. I was considered a bully, depicted as an intimidating character to juniors and my peers distant themselves away from me. I realised i could barely count the number of friends i had with the fingers on one hand, and it certainly was not because i had too many friends to count. So i seeked refuge by turning to my primary schoolmates. Still, nothing could compensate for the lack of companionship where i really was. Life was miserable, i had no aim in life, entangled in an ep3 i did not enjoy one bit and had to put up with people who were testing my patience with each passing day. After 2 years of this life, i couldn't take it anymore, so i decided to show the side of myself which only a few were familiar with. People around me were paranoid about the sudden change, but i assure u, they weren't half as paranoid as i was about them. Doubters of my character emerged one by one, frequently speaking ill of me. Voila! From a bully...i allegedly turned into a two faced monster. It took me a great deal of time to reverse that image, just to gain acceptance among my friends. Since then, i've made no mistake about judging people prematurely, because i've been through a grueling experience myself. Lets put it this way, maybe communication is not as straightforward as some might think, because what is thought might not be said, and what said not been through thought-thats where contradictions come into play. Never judge a book by its cover, because pretty books might not be good; likewise, an ugly looking book might just be the masterpiece of the century. Sadly, actions usually command a higher value when one's personality is placed under scrutiny. This very flaw is what makes man so unpredictable and as i would put it, intricate beings.

With all that said, lets not discount the fact the there are indeed people who are out to get the better of others for self interest. Confucius say 'he who is not a man might not be a woman'. Ok scratch that. But i think there's some saying about having to climb on others if one cannot climb faster than others. That kind of action is one that is despicable and expedient. I know people who would consider these kind of people streetwise, smart and even shrewd. Thankfully, 'what goes around goes around goes around comes all the way back around'. Ill gotten gains are not sustainable. Just look at Genting Group. =) Let nature take its course.

P.S they say a man's biggest flaw is insensitivity, yet those who are sensitive are always teased about being feminine, what's with all the contradictions anw! =/ Make no mistake(quoted from cy's blog), i hate two kinds of people: Gays and...., eh i think only one larh =D